Mood Ring

Relient K would say I am definitely in need of a mood ring. It has been a day full of shifting emotions.

I was stressed and anxious about the workload for the next few days.
I was excessively bored in Christian Heritage relearning material from last semester.
I was thoroughly interested in the readings for Mythology.
I felt inadequate in my understanding of Boethius.
I was energized by Zumba.
I felt blessed by the great friendships in my life and grateful for the people I have grown even closer to recently.
I was absolutely ecstatic about translating verses from my brand-new Greek New Testament :)

But even more than the above listed, several thoughts stuck with me the whole day.
On the way to class this morning, I had a "why in the world am I a Classics major?" moment followed quickly by a "what the heck am I doing with my life?" moment. I started thinking through careers I could possibly have, and I felt either completely apathetic or completely inadequate in regards to every single one. I don't want to get stuck doing something that seems appealing but is ultimately unfulfilling. I want to make sure I'm doing something that will have a lasting impact in people's lives. I don't want to get jaded or become too focused on material gain or worldly renown (thanks for the reminder Boethius). So it's definitely been a day of reevaluating my passions, burdens, talents and calling. I have yet to come anywhere close to a conclusion, and I know I'm only a freshman so I have time to figure it out, but I worry about it nonetheless.

The other thing that remained with me all day was Haiti. My heart bleeds for the people affected, and I wish that in addition to money I could give of myself. Today was one of those days that I wished I had some sort of interest in medicine. Doctors and nurses have the opportunity to help people so much and in such a tangible way. They are the ones down in Haiti right now giving all their energy to heal those who are suffering. I feel so small and unimportant in comparison to this. What gift do I have that could possibly bless people? I wish I could travel down there, but I know I have absolutely nothing to offer.

For now I will just have to learn to pray faithfully.

P.S. PLEASE check out this blog by missionaries in Haiti. It is full of heart-wrenching stories, and shows such hope amid the devastation.